Offer a limp handshake and you’ll be perceived as weak or lacking confidence. (Comstock)

It’s no secret that how you walk, how you stand, how you hold your head and how you manage your personal space can say a lot about you. For example, long quick strides suggest someone is in a hurry, shoulders hunched over and pulled inwards might suggest you’re tired and tentative head nodding sends a message of uncertainty. But sometimes, it’s the subtleties that send the strongest signals.

For example, in North America there are certain behaviours that are expected and respected when greeting and leave-taking. These include extending a handshake, making eye-contact and smiling. Sounds simple enough, but in many cases, doing any one of these three things incorrectly can harm first impressions.

Here are some examples:
                         

GESTURE:            Handshake	OBJECTIVE:    Make physical contact, literally bridge distance between people, offer overt “reaching out”	POTENTIAL FOR ERROR:       Offer a limp handshake and you’ll be perceived as weak or lacking confidence Offer too firm a handshake and be perceived as aggressive Break contact too soon and be perceived as distracted or disinterested Hold on for too long and be perceived as being too friendly or even creepy	REMEDY: Offer a firm handshake, hold contact for 3-4 seconds, shake 2-3 times from the elbow.
Eye-contact	Show that the person you are interacting with has your full attention and your respect	Glance away too quickly and be perceived as distracted, busy or disrespectful. Hold a gaze too long and be perceived as intimidating, too intense or even flirty	Maintain visual contact of the other person’s face, but only hold direct eye contact for 5-6 seconds at a time, then look at eyebrow, nose, or other facial features for a few seconds and then come back to direct eye contact.
Smile	Show sincerity and happiness at being in another person’s company.	Closed mouth smile could be perceived as insincerity. Covering your mouth when you smile could be perceived as your being shy or lacking confidence. Constant smiling is perceived as hiding something or being insincere.	Smile a spontaneous, open-mouthed smile. Then close your mouth briefly, pause and breathe once through your nose before you speak. This shows that you expressed genuine emotion when meeting someone. For some people teeth being visible is a nonverbal trust cue, and pausing before you speak shows calmness and deliberation.

One interesting thing about nonverbal communication is that we are rarely deliberate in exhibiting it. But, if we stop to think about what we’re doing when smiling or shaking hands or making eye contact, and if we are deliberate about adjusting our behavior slightly, nonverbal communication can have tremendous impact.

There is in fact a whole field of study called Oculesics that revolves around the role of eyes in nonverbal communication. How you roll your eyes, how you use your eyebrows, and how long you hold your gaze can all send positive or negative messages depending on the context.

Similarly, the gesture of extending your hand to offer a handshake incorporates elements of Proxemics. Proxemics is the study of how people use and perceive the physical space around them. For example, the average perceived personal space for North Americans is about eighteen inches to four feet where in many Asian and Middle Eastern cultures perceived personal space is only twelve to eighteen inches. Handshaking also expresses aspects of Haptics which is the study of touch and how touch expresses emotion and feelings. A good example is how a two-handed clasping handshake can change the emotionality of an interaction.

Finally, the act of smiling is one component in the study of Kinesic. the study of body movements, facial expressions and gestures. Depending on the situation, and sometimes the culture, a smile can make or break business and/or social relationships.