Hate your weight? Bulges got you down? Don’t despair. You might dream of being a size 4, but the opposite sex thinks you're hot, even with those extra pounds.
A new body happiness survey from tada.com, an online shopping site, reports that men don't actually believe models have the ideal body shape, while overly muscular men aren't a turn-on for most women. So put down those weights and relax. Women go for guys of medium height and average build, while men like their women medium height and curvy.
“We can all take a deep breath when it comes to holding ourselves to unrealistic standards,” says Elise Loehnen, of tada.com. “No one expects their partner to look like a supermodel or action star,” adds Loehnen.
Yet thin thinking rules. The majority of women are a size 16, but wish they were a size 8. And many are hoping to drop at least 20 pounds to be at their ideal weight.
According to Calgary relationship expert Debra Macleod, we prefer partners who are reasonably fit, active and able to participate in life, and ”who are sexually attractive and energetic enough to enjoy regular physical intimacy, which is an important part of relationships.”
A healthy interest in life and sex is more important than someone’s height or a few extra pounds. Hey, who wants to sleep with Conan the Barbarian anyway? quips Macleod. According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, average is the operative word when it comes to physical attractiveness. The study findings coincide with what evolutionary psychologists have stated and found in their studies for years. Yet “these findings, regarding preferences in what is attractive to the opposite sex, is in sharp contrast, however, to what men and women want and see in themselves.”
When people look at themselves, most are dissatisfied or unhappy with what they see, says Orbuch. “In general, we are affected by the media to not appreciate our bodies as they are, but instead to want what we see in the movies, television, magazines - which is the thin, tall, model-like image/body. We want what we think we should look like.
Second, we have been taught that the opposite sex also wants this in their partner/us... When we think this way, we then dont like what we see in our own bodies and faces,” says Orbuch.
What’s truly unattractive is to have a partner who is obsessed with body perfection - both their own and ours, adds Macleod. ”Most of us want to indulge in a glass of wine or a piece of steak or cheesecake without having to spend the next week detoxing or living at the gym.”