Finding casusal sex on Facebook is now an app

(Shutterstock)

(Shutterstock)

Elianna Lev, Special to QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 5:31 PM ET

When I first heard about Bang with Friends (BWF), a Facebook app that coordinates casual sex between friends, I must admit I was quite keen to explore.

And then my dad ruined it for me. I’ll elaborate.

When executed correctly, casual sex between buddies can be a convenient, gratifying and thrilling arrangement. But, not unlike a minefield, it’s something that’s best to be entered into with extreme caution – and loads of protection. Otherwise, sex buddies can often lead to emotional whirlwinds of confusion and eventual breakdown of friendships. There have even been movies made on the subject -- the interchangeable Friends with Benefits and No Strings Attached.

(My checklist when it comes to a bang buds is he must have the right pheromones but also employ enough qualities that I’d consider dealbreakers if I was ever actually to consider dating this person: lack of employment, a ridiculous amount of roommates, poor taste in friends, for example. That way, I know I don’t want him as a boyfriend, but can tolerate having him around for a good time and only that.)

Finding the right match for this kind of potentially volatile casual relationship can be the tricky part, which is where the BWF app is meant to help. In theory.

The app is connected through Facebook – you sign in using your account and then click on the friends you want to get to know better. If they are signed up through the app and have clicked on you too, BWF will send you both an e-mail and you can take it away from there.

So, I signed in, eager to explore this potentially new world of fun. It didn’t take long for my mood to shift - I was immediately confronted with photo after photo of my happily married male friends, my cousins, a few friends who are no longer with us (as in, they’re dead), and my own father. The smiling photos of them holding their babies or cuddling their spouses were accented by a button proclaiming “Down to Bang.” I wasn’t feeling down to do anything at that point, except dry heave.

I immediately called my dad and awkwardly asked him if he was looking to bang with friends, because I had some proof. He was appalled to find out he was on there.

“I read about that this morning,” he told me. “But I’d never sign up for it. Why would I need to do that? I’m an old man.” That was still too much information, coming from my dad.

I e-mailed the app’s creators looking for answers. At this point, the pair says they wish to remain anonymous because “this took off so quickly and unexpectedly that we need to pull our pants back up and prepare before ‘coming out.’”

When I told them about all the people on there whom I was surprised to see, they explained I misunderstood how the app works.

“We show you your Facebook friends and filter out your family members who are marked as such within Facebook,” they wrote. “Your friends NEVER get a notification, message, or anything else unless they choose to sign in to BWF and also click on your button.”

That means, everyone from your Facebook friends will show up on the app, regardless of whether they’ve downloaded it or not. If you click on their ‘Down to Bang’ button and they’re not on there, your outcome will be pretty fruitless. There’s no real way of knowing who’s actually on there, unless you’ve clicked on their photo and they’ve independently clicked back.

This was starting to sound more complicated than actually having casual sex with friends.

Regardless, BWF is proving popular. They claim to have hooked up 25,000 couples (50,000 people), and have more than 300,000 users. My dad, apparently, not being one of them.

While the app is a clever way to cut straight to the point when it comes to identifying some potential No Strings Attached Friends with Benefits, it’s not one I will be using. It’s hard to think about who I’d like to be down to bang, with my dad, cousins and dead friends so close at hand.


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