The MILF diet: Spicy or just unsavoury?

(konradbak/Fotolia)

(konradbak/Fotolia)

JOANNE RICHARD, Special to QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 1:56 PM ET

Eat my way to MILF-ness and be a hottie once again. What!

MILF translates to ‘Moms I’d Like to F---’ and it’s the name of a new diet book. We poor sexless, shapeless moms need to slim down our inherent unsexiness and eat our way to being lust-worthy.

That’s not how former chef Jessica Porter wants you to interpret the title of her newest book, The MILF Diet: Let the Power of Whole Foods Transform Your Body, Mind and Spirit Deliciously.

“It’s a sassy, naughty compliment for attractive older women,” says Porter from New York, adding that the term has transcended its crassness and just means ‘hot moms’ - vibrant, energetic women radiating earthy, natural sexuality. And those who can elevate the title and consume its macrobiotic contents can become empowered, connected, whole – one healthy MILF at a time, according to Porter. She says women all around her are embracing the “repurposed” acronym for positive personal growth. “They find it very funny, cheeky.”

Obviously I’ve got to work on my sense of humour along with my lust-worthiness - and repurpose my MILF-ness too. “The pushback is from those who haven’t read the book… Don’t judge a book by its cover,” counters Porter. “The book isn’t about eating to be sexual, but to be whole.”

Any way you slice it or dice it, the title is a turnoff. While B.C. premier Christy Clark had no issues with being called a MILF on a radio show recently - she said it beats being called a cougar - the moms I unscientifically polled about the acronym weren’t laughing: “Vulgar,” “disrespectful,” “degrading” - they said.

Unsavoury. We should be feeding our children words and images depicting strong, smart, self-respecting moms – not moms who embarrass them with a voracious appetite for approval.

“I hate, hate, hate the acronym,” says relationship expert Debra Macleod, of Marriagesos.com. “There’s something so pathetically desperate about a woman wanting to be a MILF… It’s like a woman doesn’t feel she’s worthy unless a man will f--- her.”

It’s a creepy term likely used by creepy men. “What he’s saying is, ‘Okay, you’re not that old and ugly – I’d do ya…’ Wow, sweep me off my feet, why don’t you!”

Danielle Smith bashed the title in a blog at Extraordinarymommy.com and further tells Sun Media, “I have a little girl who needs to know that self-respect and a healthy body image are priorities. Seeking to be a MILF by following a specific diet puts me in a class of women I have no intention of joining.

“The very term magnifies a woman’s lack of self-esteem and her insecurities and plays in to the notion that she needs a ‘sexy’ stamp of approval in order to be healthy and accepted. To that, I say, no thank you.”

Dr. Trina Read has written a few articles on mom’s losing their ‘erotic capital’ once they become moms. “Whether it’s women buying into the stereotype and keeping each other down; or if there is some biological imperative where men see another man has impregnated a woman and therefore she is no longer desirable, I’m really not sure…”

Clever marketing ploy? Nature has no budget, says Porter, adding that as many as the title will repel, it will also attract. “People got over the title Skinny Bitch,” alluding to another recipe book of the same genre.

A book called How to Stay Beautiful, Whole and Powerful as We Age wouldn’t grab attention, says Porter, who’s frustrated by the resistance. “I absolutely stand by the title and know that overtime it will bear fruit.”

WHAT HUSBANDS CAN DO

Mothers are also wives, and husbands should find their wives sexy, says relationship expert Debra Macleod, of Marriagesos.com. “I don’t care whether society deems motherhood ‘sexy’ enough, I care whether husbands and wives who become parents continue to find each other attractive and desirable,” says Macleod. “If they do, they are likely to remain married and raise their kids in an intact family.”

Here are ways a husband can make his wife and mother of his children feel sexy, according to Dr. Trina Read, of Vivaxo.com:

  1. Give her space away from the kids. “It’s incredibly difficult for women to turn off being a mom, run into the bedroom and turn on the sex kitten mode,” says Read. “The more her husband can take on daily responsibilities, the easier it is for her to be into him.”
  2. Do things to create no-strings-attached intimacy - a bath, foot rub, glass of wine and a chat. “I guarantee moms will be in the mood more often for ‘sex’ when they know sometimes it’s all about her wants, needs and desires.”
  3. Acknowledge her hard work. Encourage her to have a night out with her girlfriends, take over night duty at least once a week and make sure to tell her how much you appreciate her. Think of acknowledging her hard work as foreplay.
  4. Plan it. When you make a weekly ritual of creating a nice day for her (think, love texts, takeout for dinner, music, candles), it will be something that you both look forward to. “Don’t just grab her breast and expect her to be keen for sex.”
  5. Get away without kids. “It’s important to reconnect and remember the couple you were before kids came along.”


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