Put the O-M-G in orgasm

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Kristy Brownlee, QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 3:43 PM ET

How about this New Year’s resolution? Have. More. Orgasms. Agree? Our sexperts do and offer their best advice on how to put the oh-yes-please into orgasms in 2013.

Don’t sweat the technique

You don't need to follow complicated methodology to have great sex. In fact, there’s more to great sex than method alone, says Jessica O’Reilly, a Toronto-based sexologist and author of Hot Sex Tips Tricks and Licks: Sizzling Tongue and Touch Techniques for Amazing Orgasms. It’s about setting the mood by dimming the lights, burning some candles, and getting touchy-feely with silky massage oil. “Ultimately, every orgasm is a brain orgasm,” O’Reilly advises.

Think outside the “box"

This seems like a tip most people know, but O’Reilly says many still don’t quite grasp it. Two-thirds of women reach orgasm by bumping and grinding, not penetration, says O’Reilly, so gents, focus on the outer-regions to really get her off.

Porn-gasms vs. orgasms

Sex isn’t a performance, it’s supposed to be an experience, says O’Reilly. She adds that a lot of women learn sexual positions and what sounds to make from watching porn, but they don’t often correspond with what they’re actually feeling. Same goes for men who tend to be quiet in the sack, says O’Reilly. “We need to encourage women (and men) to be honest with the sounds they make.” Sounds right, doesn’t it? How is your partner supposed to know what you like or don’t like if you’re not keeping it real?

Get nasty at noon

O’Reilly tells her clients to ditch the traditional sex-before-sleep routine and consider getting between the sheets in the morning, at lunch or right after work.

“Sleep schedules impact sex in a negative way,” she says. At night you’re exhausted. It’s nice to know you’ve gotten what you need before work and orgasms help to relax you.”

Eye-gasms

Gaze into your partner’s eyes during sex and during the big O to boost the intensity of the feeling, says Carlyle Jansen, a sex educator and founder of Good for Her, a sex toy store in Toronto. For those going solo, she says, looking in a mirror while pleasuring yourself can really bump up your mojo.

C’mon baby light my fire

“A lot of women complain that the only time their partner touches or kisses them is when it leads to sex," says Jansen. To keep the blaze burning, she prescribes a deep kiss at least once a day and maybe a caress on the neck when you part.

Tell him he’s sexy

Forget happy wife, happy life. Men need to feel desired as much as women - not just in the bedroom but throughout the week, too.

“We live in a culture where women’s beauty is valued to perhaps an absurdly high degree, and men are ignored,” says O’Reilly. “Just like you feel in the mood when you feel sexy, men fall into the same boat.”

Small changes, big results

“With sex, you don’t have to make big changes to create a dramatic, positive effect,” O’Reilly says. Try sitting up during sex or, for the ladies, prop your hips up with a pillow, she says. Even changing the place you do it or switching up the timing can send you and your lover over the moon.

 


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