|What are your sex resolutions for 2013? (Fotolia)
Forget another failed diet or finally butting out—which you should have done in ’02, by the way—in favour of some New Year’s resolutions that you’ll actually enjoy keeping. “These resolutions are still good for you but a whole lot more fun,” says Josey Vogels, Canada’s leading sexpert and author of Better Sex In No Time. Yup, today we’re talking sex resolutions—and here’s a handful you won’t mind making.
Get your daily exercise
But, thankfully, not on the treadmill! We mean your Kegels, ladies, and there are better tools now then heavy balls of yesteryear. “You can’t really beat a Magic Banana for exercising your Kegel muscles,” says Katrina McKay of Ohhh Canada. This unassuming toy looks a bit like a bike lock, though no bike lock aids in g-spot orgasms.
See your doctor
It’s not our sexiest of suggestions, but important just the same to check in with your doctor yearly. “Maybe it’s not right up there on the fun scale, but it’s a lot easier than the Stair Master,” says Vogels. “Nothing says you care like a clean bill of sexual health.”
Spoil yourself thoroughly
Best resolution ever? Agreed. Forget saving your pennies—spend them wisely and set the scene for a whole year of great sex. Paying for themselves are massage oils, romantic (and flattering!) lighting or candles, and nice underpants. “Even if you’re the only one who’s going to see them,” says McKay.
Love yourself, often
And now that you’re in the mood, masturbation doesn’t just feel good—it’s good for you (also free and without calories!). “It eases tension, gets you in touch with your body, relieves menstrual cramps and releases mood-enhancing hormones,” says Vogels. Vow to get frisky with yourself more.
Step out of your box
All the experts agree, changing it up is the key to good sex. “At least once a month, change something in your sex life,” says McKay, suggesting new fantasies, accessories and places (“laundry room, anyone?”) might all do the trick. Satisfy your lover’s quirky ideas too, suggests Vogels. “You may surprise yourself and discover things you never knew you’d get into.”
Way out of your box
Exhibitionists among us—or those aspiring to be so in 2013—should thank Mad Men and Dita Von Teese for making retro burlesque totally mainstream. “Taking burlesque or pole dance classes isn’t taboo anymore,” says McKay, suggesting Toronto’s Brass Vixens as a great place to start. Not quite there just yet? “Choreograph your own routine in front of the mirror with a chair as a prop,” she says.
But, go easy on yourself too
Resolution buffs might love a goal or two, but remember quality over quantity. “Who cares if Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blow are doing it seven times a week and twice on Sunday?” asks Vogels. Comparing yourself to anyone else is a recipe for disaster. Talk to your partner—if you’re both happy with frequency and quality, she says, then you’re golden already. “I don’t care how often you’re doing it and neither should you,” she adds.