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 The Intimacy Experiment puts the spotlight on three brave couples hoping to achieve more fulfilling relationships, while allowing others to follow along at youtube.com/ky. (Shutterstock.com) |
Homework is about to get a whole lot more fun.
Yes, the same old excuses (you know, the one that goes something like, "Not tonight honey, I have a headache," or "I am just so tired ... how about tomorrow?") — is about to get a thrilling shakeup.
Sad but true, it's quite easy to let our sex lives slide down the priority scale until one day we notice that it has slipped down lower than scrubbing down the toilet bowl while attired in a pair of hideous, yellow rubber gloves.
Even as the writer of this sex column, I've been guilty of being too groggy, too grumpy or feeling too frumpy to get it on at times. On the flip side, I've also been the victim of distraction, typically due to my boyfriend's love of all things hockey, including games, sports highlights and multiple fantasy hockey leagues.
Indeed, in terms of life and love, have-tos and hobbies can sometimes get in the way of steamy encounters.
Now, from the makers of those slippery and sensual lubricating goodies comes the K-Y Intimacy Experiment, created with Canadian couples in mind.
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The company has teamed up with Vancouver-based sex therapist Teesha Morgan to develop a series of homework assignments to help Canadians get their intimacy and communication levels back on track. Think date nights, massages, daily kissing and sexual experimentation to help get those sizzle levels soaring.
Why those of the Great White North, you ask?
Well, according to a recent survey of Canadians aged 25 and older, the majority want more action. While 80% said they like to get their libido-engines roaring at least once a week, 28% would like to see that number jump three times or more, with men taking the lead on this one at 36% vs. 21%, respectively.
So, where do we start?
With the computer, of course.
The playful project puts the spotlight on three brave couples hoping to achieve more fulfilling relationships by participating in the 12-week experiment, while allowing others to follow along at youtube.com/ky starting this week and to try out the assignments on their own as well.
"Sex is kind of like working out," explains Morgan.
"When you start going to the gym, you want to keep going. Sex plays a similar role — the more that you have sex, the more you want it."
But, this isn't just about carnal pleasures, baby.
Intimacy is multidimensional, branching out from the emotional and physical and over to the sexual.
The study found that women place more value on emotional and physical intimacy than men, whereas guys rated sexual satisfaction as more important to a healthy relationship than women, at 66% vs 58%.
"You can have physical intimacy without it being sexual," Morgan says.
"I think a lot of people in general, especially men, say 'Oh, we're intimate, we have a good connection,' and women will say, 'We don't hug, stare into each other's eyes or hold hands.' There's another step to physical intimacy. If you have just one of the levels of intimacy, I don't think you're getting the whole picture."
Truth is, over time as the honeymoon period recedes into the far away background and the delirium of those delicious falling-in-love chemicals have faded, achieving hot sex takes work.
Sure, that might sound, well, like work, but send it over to the bedroom and it takes on a whole new meaning.
"We can't just blame it on 'Oh he just doesn't pick up his socks anymore,'" says Morgan.
"There's a lot of room for improvement."
Just the stats, please
- 93% say of Canadians say emotional intimacy is extremely important
- 85% gave big thumbs up to the value of hugging and holding hands
- Outside of the bedroom, laughing together (71%), going out on dates (67%), recalling happy memories (56%) and discussing the future (46%) are the favorite moments Canadians share with their partners
- 53% have sex at least once a week or more.
- Just 11% have sex three or more times a week
How would you describe your relationship?
More than half of Canadians say their unions are "loving," and 41% call them "intimate."
Meanwhile 31% said traditional best fits their relationship style, 23% picked playful, and 20% said life with their mates is exciting. Just 9% said they have an adventurous relationships, and only 3% selected the word, provocative.
Biggest bedroom intruders:
- 51% blame exhaustion for dampening their sexual spirits
- 34% say their hectic schedule gets in the way
- 27% pointed to stress, and the same percentile reported a lack of interest in sex
- 22% say children are the biggest road block to sexual gratification
(Source: K-Y Intimacy survey)
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