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 (Sun Media Files) |
Who knew a cookie held so much power?
Well, according to U.S. comedian Steve Harvey, cookies are the all powerful treat for satisfying a man's sweet-tooth cravings.
Harvey's version of the cookie, however, isn't of the chocolate chip variety but a symbol of carnal pleasures, as explained in his New York Times bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man (HarperCollins).
And, according to Harvey, women are giving up the cookie too easily.
In fact, the famous funny man thinks women should wait a whopping 90 days before going to bed with a man.
"I just want women to slow down so they can learn to figure a guy out," explains the host of the U.S. syndicated radio offering, The Steve Harvey Morning Show, and original Kings of Comedy member.
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"When I was working a the Ford Motor company, what they did was have a probation period. You had to work there 90 days before you got the entire benefits package, but for 90 days, we want to take a look at you, see if you come to work on time, do a good job, work well with others," he explains.
Then, and only then, offer up a cookie.
"Women possess the greatest benefit of all -- and it's you," he says earnestly.
"Why would you pass on that benefit without knowing this guy? Without making sure he's actually worthy of the benefits package?"
While it might sound a little chastity-belt era for modern dames, he does have a point.
"The more of your goods we can see, the more enticing it is, and here we come along in full hunter mode," Harvey says.
"Sure, some men are OK with going to a strip club, but we're not taking you down off that pole and bringing you to meet our mothers."
Harvey's cookie analogy echoes a popular sentiment from our grandparents' generation -- why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
"He will not run if he's a man that's looking for something substantial and real," Harvey insists.
"If he's looking for a quick fix, isn't that a guy you want to run off?"
Harvey is, if not old fashioned, at least traditional.
He always pulls the chair for his wife, holds the door open and stands up when a lady excuses herself to go to the powder room.
He says he believes men should provide for women not just emotionally, but also financially whenever possible -- a notion that might make some women cringe.
Harvey just might be a living, breathing throwback to a more chivalrous time that many of us have only ever witnessed in black and white movies.
"I tell all independent women to keep being that way," he explains.
"Women shouldn't start giving up that power, but there are a lot of ways a man can protect and provide.
"He has to see himself being able to be in a position of a man. That doesn't mean dumb it down, just relax a little bit. I got that you can take care of yourself, I got that you can take out the garbage, but let him do it."
Covering everything from words that make guys squirm (think, 'we need to talk') and identifying mama's boys, to explaining why some gals are considered "keepers" while others -- "sport fish" -- are tossed back in the pond, Harvey hopes to empower females with his witty insight into the minds of men.
"Women will often set their standards lower and date a guy they know is wrong," he observes.
"You're just postponing Mr. Right from coming along. I am trying to help women weed through some of the garbage . . . With Mr. Right, you're not going to have to patch him up and get him out of rehab."