Maybe you haven't heard that one before, but if you're female and have a pulse, chances are you've been subjected to a pick-up line (or five) sometime during your lifetime.
It's a curious phenomenon, the icebreaker, although if it's executed poorly or by the wrong person, much embarrassment ensues. For example, I'd hate to be the guy who offered this line: "If you were a nose, I'd pick you to be mine."
Not exactly the most flattering way of telling a woman she's beautiful -- and certainly a no-no when it comes to hoping that she'll share a mattress for the night. But when flawlessly executed, the proper pick-up line can melt the resolve of even the most resistant of potential bunkmates.
"I was at a club with my girlfriends last week to dance and have a few drinks, and the furthest thing from my mind was going home with someone," says Dawn, 22, an attractive brunette with a passing resemblance to actress Anne Hathaway.
"But then Bob came over. He was kind of cute, but what really got me was his opening line. There was enough of a twist to it to amuse me, so I let him buy me a drink. He turned out to be a pretty funny guy, and then one thing led to another."
Bob's opener: "Excuse me -- my friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning."
That's probably the biggest key to success: If you want to tickle something else, start by tickling the funny bone and work from there. Laughter is not only the best medicine, but also the best aphrodisiac.
"When I met Gary, he was the quiet one in a pack of friends trying to impress me and my girlfriends," 27-year-old Honey recalls. "And they were coming up with the lamest lines you could think of. We were all rolling our eyes, hoping these losers would find some other victims to pick on.
"But then Gary tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'What has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.'
"It was so unexpected and cartoonish that I nearly shot Kahlúa out of my nose."
"As we talked further, he kept me laughing and I began noticing some attractive things about him, like his baby blue eyes. Before I knew it, I was heading back to his place."
Pick-up lines are not only used on women. I remember the evening years ago when an attractive blonde named Diane came up to me and said, matter-of-factly, "I have a headache. Let's go back to your place."
These days, the pick-up line is also being elevated to a new level involving visual aids.
When words simply aren't enough, people -- OK, mainly guys -- are using their bodies to deliver their can't-miss message.
It worked on 24-year-old Mila.
"Tom walked up to me and, rather brazenly, said, 'Hey beautiful, if I have your name tattooed on my arm, could I take you home and have my way with you?'
"I agreed, never thinking I'd see the name 'Mila' on his arm. And I didn't -- he rolled up his sleeve and revealed the words 'Your Name' on his arm," she blushed.
Whether you decide to employ a part of your anatomy to give your advance that extra zing or you prefer to work your magic with your gift of gab, here are some proven winners to help you with your inner flirt.
You can thank us later.
"I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend (boyfriend)."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together."
"If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity."
"You've been a bad girl (boy). Go to my room."
"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed."
"How about breakfast tomorrow? Should I call you...or should I nudge you?"
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."
"I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England."
"Here I am. What are your other two wishes?"
"Playing doctor is for kids. Let's play gynecologist!"