If you’re recently back into the dating scene after a long hiatus, you may have noticed that a few things have changed. Life and dating have sped up to the point where both are virtually unrecognizable from a decade ago. Which, if you’re like me was the last time you were single.
Phone calls have been replaced with texting. We’re now making decisions about potential mates by swiping left or right on our smartphones and ending relationships with a click of the send button. We’re dating in a culture of “I needed it yesterday,” where you can order a pizza, buy a new pair of Jimmy Choos and find a date all without ever turning away from your smartphone. Recently, a man called me. On the telephone. When my phone rang (“He’s actually calling? Why doesn’t he just text?”) I had the terrified look of a Pretty Little Liars character who’s just discovered a dead body in the trunk of their parents car.
The way we date, relate and mate has changed- for better or for worse. If you want to keep up, you might want to grab a helmet and hang on tight.
Long gone are quiet nights spent with your laptop, lazily browsing through potential matches online. Instead, dating has become all about multitasking. Thanks to location based dating apps like Tinder, an increasing number of singles are turning to their smartphones to meet people while they’re out for drinks with friends or burning calories on the elliptical machine. Goodbye waiting, hello instant gratification. You can now meet someone right here and now, at the swipe of a finger. You may even find your Tinderella or Tinderfella - that is, if you can look up from your phone long enough to make eye-contact.
Dating in multiples
Thanks to the ease at which we’re now able to connect, multi-dating is the new normal. Whether it’s talking to multiple people at the same or going on actual dates - be prepared to be one of, if not many, then at least a few people that someone is currently in touch with. As a rule of thumb I just assume that everyone I am dating is also dating other people - until otherwise stated. The “let’s be exclusive and take down our online dating profiles” talk has become the new relationship milestone.
One of my best friends is a successful single woman in her thirties. As she explains, “I can’t afford to throw away potentials for just for one guy and hang all my hopes on that one thread. Nope, nope, nope. Never again.” In other words, until you have the “talk” all bets are off.
There are no rules
Whether you’re waiting three days to call someone or three dates to have sex, thanks to social media and mobile technology, these rules have become as antiquated as sending a telegram. Even waiting 24 hours to return a text seems unnecessary. Want something or someone? Go get them. Playing it cool has gone out of vogue - a welcome relief for those of us who were never able to master it in the first place.