How to make 2014 your best year for love

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Simone Paget, Special to QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 3:57 PM ET

 

With the start of the new year, many of us have love on our minds. According to Kimberly Moffit, relationship expert for Match.com, it’s the time of year when Canadians tend to be the most proactive about their love lives. “Nearly half of Canadian singles list ‘falling in love’ as one of their resolutions,” she says.

One of my many plans for the new year is to revitalize my dating life, therefore I can relate. However, when it comes to resolutions, I prefer the term “intentions” because it connotes something you’re actually going to do, rather than simply planning to do. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, here are a few “New Year’s Intentions” that we can all embrace to improve our love lives:

Be the kind of person you want to be with

Like attracts like: If you want someone who is kind, generous and loves working out - be that person. Volunteer at that animal shelter. Take that spin class. Actively listen to your partner’s needs. In other words, like the Michael Jackson song, “start with the man/woman in the mirror.” You’d be surprised what happens when you embody the values you’re looking for in a partner.

Be present

It’s easy to see the past through rose coloured glasses or imagine a future where your life will be infinitely better because you’re with the “perfect person.” However, this kind of thinking is a trap. Life is happening right now and if you don’t open your eyes you might miss something really great - whether that’s a new love, or creating a deeper connection with your partner. As a wise sage named Keanu Reeves once said, “the important part of life is showing up.” Show up for your own life and relationships.

Be intentional with your relationships

A friend recently told me, “We we were going to break up, but then he never moved out so, we’re still together.” Don’t fall victim to relationship “drift” - moving towards the next stage in your relationship because it’s easier than breaking up. Actively choose to be with the one you’re with. Set goals together. Don’t be with someone because it’s convenient.

Be courageous

One of my favourite authors, Cheryl Strayed wrote, “be brave enough to break your own heart.” If you know in your gut that a relationship isn’t right for you, have the courage to walk away - even if it hurts. If you’re single, stop playing games. It doesn’t matter who texts who first, or how you think you should “play this one.” If you like someone, let them know. Life is too short not to be happy.


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