Waking in the middle of the night to use the washroom may also lead pregnant women to remember their dreams more vividly than usual. (Comstock)

It’s not often you hear the words pregnancy and sexuality used in the same sentence. It’s generally assumed that pregnant women are preoccupied with nothing more than which colour to paint the nursery or what to name their future bundle of joy. Their days are spent nesting, a biological instinct that causes mothers-to-be to feverishly prepare for the new arrival by cleaning the house, cooking up a storm or neatly folding the delicate baby clothes in the nursery.

There is however, another side to pregnant women that rarely gets discussed in open circles. Even among pregnant women themselves, the topic is seen as slightly taboo.

Call it ‘pregnancy porn’ or even a watered down ‘erotica for the expectant’ but many knocked up women are experiencing hot sexual dreams the minute their heads hit the pillow.

For Susan (not her real name), the erotic dreams started late into her second trimester and involved some celebrities but mostly random strangers. She still remembers one of the most vivid dreams that included a wild romp with rapper 50 Cent. “We were in a tropical location surrounded by nothing but bright blue waters,” says the 23-year-old mom. “I would wake up feeling guilty because I was pregnant and thinking about all these things. I felt gross!”

While the dreams may seem scandalous, pregnant women can rest assured that having them doesn’t mean they’re turning into permanent sex maniacs. There are several explanations for why they’re having these types of fantasies.

Pregnancy means extra blood flow to a woman’s genitals, enlarged breasts, raised estrogen levels and increased vaginal secretions which all contribute to a raging sex drive. Waking in the middle of the night to use the washroom may also lead pregnant women to remember their dreams more vividly than usual.

Although the dreams made Susan feel more sexual, she never acted upon them with her husband. “My body wasn’t having a good time with the pregnancy …I would wake up and feel really sexual but then I would snap back into reality with the nausea etc.”

She never talked to other pregnant women about the dreams out of pure shame. “I felt guilty, especially when they had nothing to do with my husband.”

Joan Marsman, a Toronto-based marriage and family therapist, specializing in sexuality issues, says pregnant women should stop feeling guilty about their naughty naps and embrace them. “Sex is a natural part of who you are and sexual dreams can be part of that as well. I put them into the category of fantasy,” she says. “If people are feeling badly about them it’s more about their sense of entitlement towards sexual pleasure than it is about the dreams themselves.”

Marsman says it’s not cut and dry as to whether a pregnant woman should share the erotic dreams with her partner.

“Not everybody is comfortable sharing,” she says. “Some people like to keep these things private. They may be unsure of how it will be taken by their partner.” Other couples, she says, share their fantasies and it hightens their sexual pleasure and fun.

Marsman says pregnant women everywhere need to stop critizing themselves for having erotic fantasies or thinking that they aren’t entitled to have them because of impending motherhood. “It’s a sign of good hormonal health, good blood flow. It’s a sign of life,” she says.