Are close parent-adult child relationships a good thing?

Are close parent-adult child relationships good?(Fotolia)

Are close parent-adult child relationships good?(Fotolia)

Joanne Richard, Special to QMI Agency

, Last Updated: 12:53 AM ET

 

Guilty as charged.

Call it (s)mothering if you’d like, but I see myself as a high-frequency communicator – daily text exchanges and a phone call or two with my 28-year-old daughter are my normal. Ties that bind or strangle? Being extremely close to mom and dad appears to be an increasingly common reality. Seems the generation gap is shrinking and digital devices are shaping a new attachment, driving the connection.

Calgary therapist Debra Macleod sees the trend as a good thing, and says it’s impacting society for the better.

“As long as the mother-daughter relationship doesn’t stunt maturity – which it doesn’t need to – then it’s great,” says Macleod, of debramacleod.com. “As long as that parent-adult child relationship isn’t compromising the adult daughter’s ability to make her own decisions, bond with her husband and achieve a strong, independent marriage.”

According to MacLeod, “people who say frequent contact between parents and adult children is a sign of immaturity are out to lunch. They see the world in black-and-white and don’t understand the complexities and varieties of parent-adult child relationships that exist.” Common ground binds us: My daughter and I work in the same industry, love the same books and movies, have similar casual dressing styles, and pursue the same sports, including snowshoeing and trail racing together.

Today’s communication devices support staying in touch and wireless allows for instant gratification, and updates. My daughter lives four hours away and travels back to the GTA on weekends. She texts when she leaves, when she arrives, followed by a smattering of daily texts throughout the week: “How’s your day?” “Lunch delish thanks,” “Zumba after work.” Add at least a phone call a day, and the nightly night-night text.

Digital makes connection a breeze but is it fostering a neurotic attachment? Are we carrying on increasingly unhealthy co-dependencies or are we just closer than ever? Canadian celebrity blogger Elaine Lui shares tales of her “excessively dependent” relationship with her mom in her new book Listen to the Squawking Chicken. They share a mother/daughter bond like no other – she doesn’t make a move without consulting and checking in with mom.

 


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