DEAR AMY: A week ago I got "matched" with a guy over Facebook (through a friend). I was told that I'm his type, and he's definitely mine. We are both 19.
We have messaged each other over Facebook almost every day for a week. He only messages me once a day, and it's usually only a few lines, so our conversation hasn't expanded as quickly as I want it to.
In desperation I asked him for his phone number. He ignored the question but later on I gave him my number. He then replied, saying he didn't want to swap numbers until he knew me better, but if we don't talk, how can this happen?
A day later we had a longer exchange, which was nice, but nothing has gone further than that boring stuff like, "What do you do for work?"
I feel we have a connection, but it's not shining through enough (or at least not fast enough) for him to keep an interest in me. Sometimes I feel like I initiate everything.
I don't know what to do at this point. It got a tiny bit flirty today, but it needs to do better.
I don't want to freak him out, but when is the best time to ask to meet him? Do you think I'm overreacting? Do I need to make a different move to get things going? -- Eager
DEAR EAGER: My major recommendation is for you to shove a little of your "cray cray" back in the bottle.
You are coming on way too strong. This guy is being honest with you, and you are responding by pouring on more pressure. Not smart.
He doesn't want to talk by phone, and you are now thinking about how to manipulate him into meeting you? Yikes.
You need to follow his lead and step away from Facebook long enough for him to wonder where you are.
Stop. Relax. Stop pushing. This is an opportunity to reflect on your own behaviour. Read He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (Gallery, 2009), or watch the movie of the same name).