  (A.D.Wilson/QMI Agency) |
Split-Complex is a person who doesn't identify by he or she. The appropriate pronoun is "it" or "they." But according to Facebook and a dozen other social networking sites, that's not possible. He or she, or you're not a member.
The immensely popular "It Gets Better" campaign recently told gay, bisexual and intersexed youth that their tormentors would soon be part of their pasts, leading them into a more understanding future. But the online world is resisting the idea.
In order to register a profile with almost any social networking site these days, users must either select "male" or "female" from a drop-down box. But it's not that easy for some people.
"I've gotten tired of not talking about it and pretending that I consider myself female," Split-Complex recently wrote on an online profile. "So this is it: I'm not."
They are not alone. Jenn Embree, a Nova Scotian who rejects the idea of gender roles, says that it's insensitive to demand people choose one or the other before taking part in a service.
"That still ignores those people who happen to have sexual organs that are either a) somewhere in between male and female, b) are both male and female, c) started out as one or the other and switched or d) started life somewhere in between and then had a well-meaning doctor modify them so they would fit in better and now don't know what they are."
And that's a lot more common than most people think.
According to a 2000 article in the American Journal of Human Biology, children born with a genital structure doesn't isn't entirely male or female account for up to two percent of all births. That's more than 600,000 Canadians, and as many as two per 1,000 births that undergo surgery to correct these differences.
That amounts to tens of thousands of Canadians for whom the simple "are you a guy or a girl" question becomes infinitely more difficult.
For these sites, part of it is about the ability to personalize the structure.
"Facebook requires users to select what sex they are when signing up for profiles to ensure that we maintain grammatical accuracy as the site is translated into languages across the globe," a Facebook spokesperson told QMI Agency.
Facebook found that when the site was translated into some languages, the gender-neutral pronouns became confusing and, sometimes, inappropriate.
Another site, deviantART, popular among artists who share their work with over 15 million users, demands that users fill out the "sex" field to see who is using the site, information that is taken into account "when developing new products, and also for things like contests and other opportunities."
For Split-Complex, the accuracy of that data - whether being used for in-house development of outside advertisers, matters. "I have to wonder why you would deliberately target users with products that do not match their identification."
But there is hope. Diaspora, an open-source social network that will go live to the public in 2011, has switched the "gender" field on users' profiles from a drop-down menu to an open text field, where users can define their gender however they see fit.
"I made this change because gender is a beautiful and multifaceted thing that can't be contained by a list," wrote developer Sarah Mei in a blog post. "I made it to start a conversation."
If the idea takes hold, soon everyone will be finally be able to define their gender online the same way they do in real life: any way they darn well please.
Self expression matters
A 2008 study found that LGBT young people are up to seven times more likely to attempt suicide than other non-LGBT youth. The main reason is a lack of social acceptance and the stigma associated with "coming out of the closet."
"Stigma and discrimination are directly tied to risk factors for suicide," the report reads. "Discrimination has a strong association with mental illness, and heterosexism may lead to isolation, family rejection, and lack of access to culturally competent care."
Being able to test the waters - to understand how coming out will impact your life - online has become increasingly common for LGBT youth who are not yet "out" in the offline world.
A 2007 Australian study found that the online world is a rehearsal space for the real world, and if people are constantly rebuffed from expressing themselves online, they're far less likely to do so in reality.
"Because of the lack of face-to-face relations, the Internet can provide a safety net for young people exploring same-sex attraction."
"Rather than positioning the virtual and the real in opposition to each other, we should instead see them as mirroring the meaningful and important communication vital to sustaining communities," the study said.
