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 If you want to see your letter in print and not tossed in the trash, keep it short, civil and to the point! (Comstock) |
Got the write stuff?
Whether you’re overworked, overweight, over-stressed or possibly over-sexed, you may want to write to an advice columnist.
But if you want to see your letter in print and not tossed in the trash – or deleted – here’s advice from those doling out advice: Keep it short, civil and to the point! Just a few paragraphs, please. No rants, rages or disrespect.
Amy Dickinson, of “Ask Amy” fame, gets 2,000 letters a week, so what gets her attention? A short and snappy subject line: “I always fall for the subject line ‘I bet you’ve never seen this before!’”
And you can bet she’s seen it before, including nasty neighbours, nosy in-laws and parenting pains. The syndicated advice columnist appears in 150 newspapers, including the LA Times, The Chicago Tribune, Newsday and the Washington Post.
Courtesy expert Louise Fox agrees.
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“Advice columnists get tons of letters so be sure to give your letter a punchy heading or title that will get attention. For example, don’t title it ‘Husband is Annoying.' Whose isn’t?” says Fox. “Instead, say, ‘Husband is a Bull Dog’.”
Fox, of etiquetteladies.com, says to make sure your information is clear, concise and easy to read. Clearly outline your situation and state the question you want answered.
Advice giver Dennie Hughes takes it all in: “I actually read everything that comes in — and respond as quickly as possible.
“I’m betting most advice experts are on the lookout for ‘timely topics,’ say someone going through something that’s been making major news headlines,” emails Hughes, whose USA Weekend Relationtips column is devoured by 50 million readers every week.
According to relationship advice giver Dr. Pepper Schwartz, when readers write in with a question, her first question is: “Is this a real letter or is someone being a smart ass?” Next she assesses if this is a person who can listen? “Sometimes the letter writer only wants to hear themselves talk!”
“Third, are they crazy? Is the letter coherent or delusional? If so, it is certainly less motivating to answer,” adds Schwartz.
And finally, is the problem “generalizable to anyone else on the world? It can’t be so narrow that it only applies to one person on earth!”
Schwartz says a good letter is not hard to do “but it has to be a bit more organized than a rambling blog” and she doesn’t want to have to search for the actual question.
Relationship counselor Heidi Cowie recommends being specific; give only the relevant background information – “no point in talking about high school relationships when you are in your 40’s!”
And she says to include proper spelling and grammar: “If we can’t read the problem, we can’t solve it!”
Don’t be shy, says Cowie, of heidihelps.com and stresschat.ca. Don’t be embarrassed.
And, she adds, don’t assume the advice you get is the best for you. “It is an opinion only.”
Including the five W’s gets an answer, from Julie Blais Comeau, a contemporary behaviour and etiquette expert, who does a weekly etiquette advice commentary in Ottawa.
Be sure to include age, sex and contact info. “The lack of contact information is probably the No. 1 mistake made by advice seekers.”
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